Tuesday, March 07, 2023

The Cuddly Vampire Diaries

Part A : Chapter 01
Love at First Bite

Out of all the blues they got in touch at an odd hour.
They connected.
A vampire. A human.
He was bitten! He was smitten!

Coming Soon!

Saturday, May 07, 2016

Always Have, Always Will.

I don’t know if it’s the way she looks at me or the way she caresses my head that makes me fall in love with her every time. Yes, I love her. I love her a lot and I fall in love with her every morning as the sun rises and I imagine to love her, even more the next day before going off to sleep. Every love story has a different kind of plot, a different kind of setting, a different set of characters, a different kind of conflict to solve and a different kind of theme but what all the love stories have in common is the passion. Passion is apparently the most vital element of a love story. It’s not abundant for a person to merely seek and desire love; it must seem necessary in some or the other way. Now it’s not needed to show to the world how passionate you are but you need to be honestly passionate about the one you love. If you are passionate it will eventually be exhibited to the one you love in many different ways. Moreover, you can’t grow passion; it develops naturally.

I don’t know if I am passionate about her or not but when I think of her, I desire to have her with me for the rest of my life. I want her to be there to wish me in the mornings when I leave my bed and overwhelm me with the smile she always wears on her lips. I want to be able to give her tiny surprises that make her feel contented every day. I want her to feel that I genuinely respect her. I would never want her to feel left out for any reason and thus, I will keep her tangled in almost every moment of my life. I anticipate to make her smile every other day and to express my love towards her in the most amazing ways imaginable.  

For now, I might not tend to express my love towards her quite sincerely but deep within my heart I always have feelings for her which are unmatched. I might as well sometimes talk impolitely to her and ask her not to bug me but every night before I go to sleep, I feel a certain kind of guilt for having talked to her like that. And that is the perfect moment to postpone my sleep-time a little further and make an apology to her. She might pass a few taunts on me but she will eventually have her lips broadened into a smile in the end and might even hug me.

Expression of love can’t be always all mushed up and sugary; it can sometimes involve care and concerns leading to a certain amount of annoyance but in the big picture it’s all a part of loving someone. There are times when she admonishes me for certain things that I do and I might react to it abruptly in that very moment but it’s only after some eternities of realisation, I find out that she was right in the first place. More or less I realise that she said all those things to me only out of the care and love she contains for me in her heart. Yes, there are points when I come to realise that she would even cross the boundaries of mortality to see me happy. But then what I know about myself being happy is to have her with me, all the time. As a matter of fact she has two places of existence; one contributes to her physical existence and the other contributes to her non-physical existence – deep inside my heart.

Every person on this earth has the privilege to have this kind of love in their lives. All you have to do is to have the right insight of the income of feelings from her and I bet you will be the happiest person. And yes she’ll love you no matter what. After all, she is the lady who underwent tremendous amount of pain just to bring you to this world.

Yes, I love you mother. Always have, always will. 

Monday, August 31, 2015

Coming Soon...



"Itni shiddat se maine tumhe paane ki koshish ki hai, ki har  zarre ne mujhe tumse milane ki saazish ki hai.
Teri nazro ko gila na ho kabhi mujhse, itna toot kar maine tujhse mohabbat ki hai.
Tere ehsaas ki kabhi kami na ho mujhme, tere dil ne mere dil se kuch aisi chahat ki hai.
Har pal tera naam lu is guftagu mein, meri rooh ne meri jubaan ko itni to ijazat di hai.
Koi fariyaad meri pahunch jaye arsh tak saqi, kuch pal k liye maine teri ibaadat ki hai..."

By Anonymous




Presenting


A saga of a beautiful story.

A man.
A lady.
An angel.
Their secret.
The love they share.
And the beauty of everything.


Coming Soon



Friday, August 14, 2015

More Than Anyone Can Ever Imagine

A loud applaud greeted her in the picture. Every head in attendance at the venue turned towards her, and it didn’t look like any one of them would turn back any sooner. Yes, she was(is) that beautiful. Mesmerized by her own splendor, she was smiling exquisitely, and as it always had been, I fell in love with her. Many years had passed by, but to me, she was still the most beautiful woman on this planet. She was an angel. She was my Angel. For a moment, I ignored the people around us, and I merely looked at her. She was indeed the most beautiful woman in this entire world. Her eyes veiled amid the puffy eyelids of hers had something enticing in them that could make me keep looking into her eyes forever. When she smiled, her eyes concealed themselves from the world outside, possibly hiding the shimmer they contained. I, all the time, used to tell her that her eyes were the best feature on her face, and she used to wink at me in response. Beauty was how she always felt inside, which resonated in her eyes. That night her eyes spoke a billion words. Her eyes were beautiful. “Damn, her eyes!” I said to myself.

“Brother, I am happy for you! Finally, you are marrying the girl you have been in love with for years.” my best friend said, patting subtly on my back. Perhaps I was the happiest man alive at that moment. She was walking down the aisle, and the pace of my heartbeat was harmonized with her slow steps. She walked so gracefully that even Eos (goddess of the dawn) would have been envious of her. She wore an enviable dress, and her outfit complimented her. She looked beautiful. Her hair lay open and covered one side of her shoulders, letting her face a good view from the other side. My eyes went further down to her unquestionably flawless waist. I remember when she was concerned about her waist and complained to me that it was oversized, and I would always tell her that it was just impeccable. I told her the truth. I was always tempted to hold her by her waist while we kissed, and if I would forget doing that, she was the one to drag my hands up to her waist. I loved holding her waist, and she loved me back for that. And today, a part of her smile was for what she used to desire.

The entire banquet was romanced along with the tunes of the songs being played. It was possibly one of the finest collections of romantic songs. Every piece was somehow linked to our story and fanned the flames of our moments. Beautiful moments.

My father was standing next to me. He was looking at me with a smile on his face. I could sense that he had been observing me looking at her for quite a while now. I smiled back at him. “Your eyes look happy tonight.” He said to me. He raised his hands and rested them on my shoulder. In soft words, he said something beautiful, “Your bride looks beautiful today, and I can see that in your eyes. I have never talked to you about the feeling of love in particular, and today I think I don’t even need to. The way you look at her tells me a lot about what you apprehend of love. What you have for her contained in your eyes is a love of a different kind that can only be imagined in fairy tales. I just want to tell you that I am happy for you, son.” I could see the reflection of happiness in his wet eyes. My lips further widened into a more giant smile.

She had the face of her mother and the eyes of her father. In both of them, I could always see a part of her. Her mother clutched her hands tight, and as she climbed up on the rostrum, her hair swayed from one direction to another, which obliged her to adjust them to avoid landing them on her face. And to be honest, a girl maneuvering her hair at any hour of the day can make you feel weak in the knees. Especially if the girl is the one you are already in love with. There she was, standing right in front of me in the bridal dress, looking more beautiful than ever. She was about three feet away from me, and I could still scent the fragrance of her, which was as intoxicating as it always had been. With every breath I took, I could feel her fragrance sweep into me and remind me of the moments she had held herself close to me. I could see glimpses of all of those splendiferous moments in my head when we used to hold each other as if the next moment would be the moment of our separation. It was no less than magic. Her hair rested beautifully on her shoulders and covered her bosom further down. The black of her hair went well with the red of her blouse. Her face glowed, and a light touch of makeup complimented her. She never used to put up even the basic makeup, yet she always had me speechless just because she was herself. She was a simple girl on the outside, but she was a blend of surprises on the inside.

She looked at me with a smile, and my heart skipped a beat. I looked back at her right into the eye. They were beautiful. She looked at me for a few couples of seconds and then lowered her eyelids. For those few seconds, I felt as if we were not amidst everyone else but somewhere alone in a land of magic and love. She did this to me every time she looked at me. Flashes from the cameras were blinding me. I looked around. Everyone was busy. Her father was busy looking at her, probably figuring out when her little girl turned into a beautiful woman eligible to marry a man she loved. I could see a fatherly love and care in his eyes for her baby girl. Her mother was busy adjusting her daughter’s hair and dress at a gap of certain intervals. She held her daughter’s hand in hers. She probably wanted her daughter to be the most beautiful bride ever, and if she was to ask me, I would have told her that her daughter was indeed the most beautiful bride ever. I wish I could. Her younger sister was busy cracking mildly funny jokes and calling her weird names. She pinched her elder sister and told her to look at me. I knew she had noticed me constantly gaping at my bride.

Apart from her younger sister, one more person noticed me look at my future wife. She was standing a foot away from me yet so close to my heart. It was my younger sister. She had known her and me as us for a long time. She always admired me as a partner to a girl, and today she was busy smiling to see me marrying the lady I have been in love with for almost a decade. She winked at me. I smiled. My mother was busy adjusting her hand into the gap near my elbow joint. She was proud, and I could feel that by her touch. I looked at the lady who had given me birth and loved me the most. She was smiling. My father was busy wiping off the tears that had rolled down his cheeks. I don’t know what was going on inside his head, but he must have been thrilled seeing all of it happen. I felt an emotional choke in my throat, and everything I looked at; blurred. My eyes teared up.

A part of me was delighted to see everything happening around me. Our parents, relatives, and friends were all gathered to celebrate the day of our marriage. Everyone had a smile on their face. The golden light from the chandelier hung above us, lit her face as a dewdrop would shine in the light of dawn. I could hear ladies from the gathering around us talking about how beautiful my angel looked and how lucky I was to have her in my life. Everything happening around me, with or without any reason, was beautiful. The ceremony of Jaimala was about to start, so all our close relatives whose presence was vital to us and who were not anywhere near were being hunted. The worst thing about marriages is the wait the couple has to endure, and it eventually is the best thing as well. The situations you face on your wedding day are for the first and the last time ever. The realization of being a bachelor for the last time, and after that being attached to a person for the rest of your life. The feeling of looking at your lover who would eventually be tying a knot with you. The feeling of having your friends and relatives look at you and her as a couple. The feeling of walking around the fire seven times with the one you love. It all felt good.

I felt a hand slide into my hand very smoothly and then grip my hand firmly. I turned my head to see who it was. It was my future sister-in-law, the younger sister of the lady I would marry in a couple of hours. She was about thirteen years younger and was really sweet. A wide smile on her face was a delight to look at. “She is beautiful. Isn’t she?” she asked me in a voice as soft as the meadows during the morning. I blushed. “Yes, she is!” I replied. “But not more than you, dear.” I appended a sentence to my reply.
“Oh, come on, jiju! She looks absolutely spectacular, and anyone in this world, including me, can’t steal her thunder tonight. And moreover, I know that she is the most beautiful woman in this world for you. I have been observing you looking at her since she has arrived, and all I can see in your eyes is an immeasurable amount of love for didi. I am glad that she has found her soulmate in you.” She said. I looked at her and felt infinitely delighted to hear what she had just said. She rescued her hands from mine and fled away the next moment to stand next to her sister before I could gather my senses and talk back to her. She winked at me, and I could only pass a smile.
Our parents handed over the garlands made out of flowers for the Jaimala ceremony. I felt a positive wave travel down my spine. I looked at her. She was looking at me and smiling. I could see in her eyes that she was euphoric about the night. There was a sparkle in her eyes whenever she was happy. I always wondered how I could possibly fall in love with the same girl over and over again, and the only answer I could fathom was - her. I fell in love with her repeatedly because it was her. I was frozen with the moment, holding the garland in my hands, not realizing what was happening around me, and was looking at her smile - and in her smile, I could see something more beautiful than the stars. “Hey! Where are you lost…?” I heard a voice from behind me.

“Hey! Where are you lost…?” I heard a voice from behind me. “The couple is done with the Jaimala ceremony!” I listened to the same voice. I was looking at a deep red-colored liquid. I was staring at the wine glass I held in my right hand. It was full. Where did the garland go? Where did she go? Before any more questions popped up in my head, I looked towards the ceremonial stage. There she was in the same dress. And beside her was sitting a guy while I was far away from her standing amidst the crowd. Both of them had a garland hanging down their necks. He was her man. She was smiling, and she looked happy. And come on, who wouldn’t be pleased on the day of their marriage. A frown appeared on my face. “Are you okay?” her best friend asked me, who eventually was a friend of mine as well. I looked at her as she adjusted her spectacles and raised her eyebrows, probably demanding a response from me. I did not say a single word. “And by the way, I am glad you could attend the wedding. I know it’s tough for you, but I am happy you could make it.” She said, flashing a big smile.

“Yes, I am okay!” I replied. She looked at me without uttering a word, and I turned around. Tears flooded my eyes, and I could feel a certain kind of excruciating pain in my chest. I felt wretched. She held me by my shoulders, and before I could wipe off my tears, she turned me around. She looked at me and then looked all the way across the guests towards the girl I loved, who was sitting by the side of the man she was marrying. After a few eternities, she looked back at me and asked, “You still love her?”.

And the only reply I could give her was, “…more than anyone can ever imagine!”

Friday, July 31, 2015

The Blame

“How can one person be so damn beautiful?” He asked her rhetorically and smiled. He was looking at her, mesmerized with the fascination she always sustained on her face. Her proximity often took his breath away. Her mere presence, made him feel ecstatic. Her fragrance and the splendour of her eyes tuned his existence to some mystical music. His soul romanced and danced in joy. Somewhere he hoped that the silence of his eyes and the beats of his heart could deliver to her how he felt for her. She was a thought he wished to think always. Some part of him was inseparably entwined with hers in a bonding that couldn't be described. She was looking back at him with a mention of blush in her expression. She smiled.

“The only reason I am beautiful is because you love me.” She said. She slipped her hand into his and curled up her fingers around the back of his hand. There was something about her touch that always let, what he called “her-waves” travel down his body. He braced his grip on her hands to let her feel his intimate emotions that flooded inside him. She felt complete when his emotions were conveyed to her in such a passionate manner. She was happy to be married with a guy who loved her infinitely and cared for every little emotion of her deliberately. They walked further upon the soft meadow of their backyard.

After the walk they returned to their bedroom. She switched on the TV while he was preparing a PowerPoint presentation on his laptop. She put on some random news channel and approached him. “Baby, tomorrow’s Sunday!” she said to him keenly. “Thanks for the update.” He responded in a witty manner. She smiled and this was the kind of smile that always messed up with his emotional self and made him fall for her every single time. He understood what she was trying to convey to him via that smile. “Dear Angel, may I have the audacity to ask you to come along with me on a date?” he asked. “Yes sure. I am all yours. You may take me anywhere you desire to.” She replied and hugged him the very next moment. In his ears she spoke, “I love you.” He adjusted her hair behind her left ear and said, “I know that.”

She was still embracing him when her eyes wedged the sight of the news highlights flashing on the television screen. As she reached out for the remote control their bodies segregated. She upturned the volume. The reporter was giving out an update on a rape case that had chanced about nine months ago. It was considerably the most devastating rape case that this country had ever faced. The rapists not only had raped the girl but had also physically injured her in the most disturbing manner possible. Only a few days after the rape had happened there was a wave of social awakening spread all across the country. The news spread like wildfire and swayed people to come out of their houses for a cause.  There were candle-lit marches held by people all across the country, there were protests focussing on the agenda of women safety in the country and sentencing the convicted to be punished under the law. It was a massive movement of a country as a whole.

The four remaining adult defendants were found guilty of rape and murder and are sentenced to death by hanging. - Spoke up the reporter. “Oh, finally the judiciary is putting the girl’s soul to justice.” She said. “These guys deserved the most painful death imaginable!” He exclaimed. “Yes! I wonder what the girl’s fault was. She did not go and dance naked in front of those guys to provoke them to rape her with such hostility.” She said in an annoying tone. “The girl was returning from a movie with a friend of hers. It is a girl’s choice to go to any place and moreover it was not even more than 9 in the evening.” She said. There was a certain resentment in the way she was talking. He nodded his head in agreement. “What?” she asked, her volume raised. “No I mean, yes those guys and their thinking must have been pathetic to commit such a monstrous crime.” He said. She adjusted her skirt to raise her legs and crossed them to sit comfortably on the bed. “Hey I need to ask you something!” she said to him. “Yes ask.” He said. “Do you men always have sex on your mind?” she asked. “No.” He replied with a grin spread across his lips. “But at this moment I do want to make love to you.” He said. He shifted his body towards her and kept his hands on her shoulders. She lowered her eyelashes and smiled. He reached out to the switchboard alongside the bed and turned the lights off.

It was a beautiful morning the next day. “Baby how do I look?” she asked him, her hands resting on her waist. She was wearing a red coloured floral print frock that ended just above her knees. Her hair, untied and on one side of her head added to her magnificence. Almost fifteen seconds had passed away while he was still looking at her with his jaw dropped to the ground. “You are looking splendid.” He replied in excitement. She felt overjoyed. He continued, “I can’t stop looking at you right now. And your eyes. You have the most amazing eyes I have ever seen. You are looking very pretty. That dress looks amazing on you.” “Thank you!” she almost sang it in excitement. “You are looking very handsome as well sweetie!” she said in a whiny tone. She proceeded towards her cupboard to get herself a pair of matching bellies. Amongst all the praising somewhere deep within he felt that he wanted to say something to her.

“Hey babe!” he called out to her. “Yes.” She replied, turning towards him. She was sitting down on a bean bag trying to fit her legs into the bellies. He walked up to her and pointed towards her bosom. “What?” she asked wondering what he meant. “Don’t you think they are exposed too much for a place where there will be other men as well?” he asked. The neck of her dress was not too deep but deep enough to let the upper part of her bosom peep out of it but it wasn’t with any hint of obscenity. She looked cute. “What?” she spoke up startled with his weird question. “See I am not against showing a little part of your cleavage. It’s not wrong to wear what you think makes you look good. I know it’s sexy but then you have to understand that there are some pervert men out there whose attention diverts to such attires. And trust me you would never want to face these men alone in a piece of clothing which arouses them. Are you getting me?” he finished with a question. She did not utter a single word and was staring right at his face. She had already dropped the bellies on the ground while he was still speaking. Her face was struck with a wave of bewilderment and her eyes were wide open. There was an awkward silence that filled the entire room.
“What are you talking about!” she bawled. “I am wearing a decent dress and its neck is in fashion nowadays. And by the way we will be in the car all day driving across the nearby cities and by the evening we will be in a five star restaurant. So you see I am not wearing this dress to a place like a fish-market. I have lived in this country for almost as long as you have been and I am in a good understanding of a girl’s decorum.” She continued. “Rapists do not come with cautionary signs dear. Moreover a dress that exposes your legs and your bosoms can be a major pull for them anyway.” He said. It was obdurate of him to say things like these to her, she thought. She was baffled seeing this side of her husband. “I don’t understand from where is the topic of rape and rapists coming up?” she asked. “Of course your dress gave birth to it.” He replied.

The moment was heating up in a negative manner. She was getting furious. “Are you in your senses?” she asked, infuriated with his talks. “Why will I be raped for wearing a decent dress while going out with my husband? Also I am not walking down a deserted street after sunset or flaunting my body parts to some random weird looking perverts.” She said. Her voice was raised beyond a level of compassion. “I am not trying to cart off your liberty but all I am saying is that why you can’t avoid wearing dresses which include publicity of your body parts! The men who are not used to look at women this way might get provoked and rape you.” He said. “Are you out of your mind?” she nearly yelled. Before he could open up his mouth to talk further she started talking. “Mister! First of all rapists don’t rape a women due to the kind of dress she wears. Because if this was the case then may be my male friends with whom I party would have raped me by now.” She said. “Err…” he was about to say something but she cut him and continued. “The thought to rape a woman is a disease that originates in the minds of depraved men themselves. If a man can be sick enough to rape a woman to satisfy his libido then trust me, he might rape an old lady wearing a saree, as well. It has got nothing to do with what a woman wears but what a man thinks. And some men are pathetic to such an extent that they can be more horrible than the Satan himself.” She finished. She was mad at him.

“You know what! Keep arguing over this with me instead of trying to understand what I am trying to say.” He said, exasperated with her responses. “Actually I have very well understood whatever you meant to say and I wonder how a person well-educated like you are, can talk utter rubbish like this. Now I don’t want you to say anything more. Plus I am not going out with you anywhere now.” She said, picking up the bellies she had dropped a few instants ago. He watched her placing her bellies back into the wardrobe. He walked up to her and said, “Listen baby, we don’t need to spoil our date. Let’s go. Wear whatever you like.” “Shut up! I am not going and that’s my final word. Now if you will just let me change?” she almost fired her words at him.

They did not go on a date nor did they talk to each other for the entire day. She was still annoyed about the conversation they had in the morning. After having a conversation-less dinner they both went to their bedroom to doze off. He was preparing the final slides of his presentation when he saw her stepping out of the washroom. She was wearing a full length pyjama and a full sleeved shirt buttoned up to her neck. He looked at her with a “whatever” gaze and continued to work. She too did not start any sort of talk and went to sleep.

His presentation was a success. The board of directors loved it and he received a candid appreciation from them as well. He was pleased about it. His office was a kilometre away from the nearest metro station so he had to take a walk. It was seven in the evening and the sky was losing the sunlight. He was thinking about the fight he had with his wife the previous day. Some men are filthy in their thoughts and actions but then the filthiness of these men is brought out by the skimpy dresses women wear. Rapes can be avoided by wearing dresses suiting the atmosphere you are going to be in. But if you are putting your body on showcase then you are actually inviting the rapist to feast upon you - he thought. His thought was interrupted by an agonising shout from the alley right across the street. It seemed to be a female voice to him. He clogged right there and looked around. The street was deserted. A pink coloured bike with a basket was lying on the ground and near it was a bag. He walked up to the bike and picked up the bag. There was a Barbie printed on it. It was dark in the alley. He took his phone out while walking in and switched on the flash.

What he saw, swept the ground from beneath him. There was a man almost his age who had restrained down a girl not older than ten years, on ground and his hands were caressing the girl’s thigh. He was taken aback. His eyes almost popped out in astonishment and blood flushed to his face raging him. The man released the girl from his clutch as soon as the light bathed him. “Leave the girl right now or I will chop your head off your body!” he screamed at the top of his voice running towards them. The man stood up and climbed over the fence at the end of the alley and ran away before he could get there. The girl was crying. He looked through the fence but the man had vanished into the darkness.

“Please don't behave the same way the bad uncle was behaving” she said in a terrified tone. “I want to go home.” She spoke up again. He was going to caress the girl’s head but he decided not to touch the girl after what had happened because by doing so he might scare the girl.  “Are you okay? You are not hurt right?” he asked her. “Yes uncle I am not hurt!” she replied sobbing. They walked out of the alley into the street and he picked up her bike and held up her bag. “Give me your parents’ number and let me call them.” He said to the girl. She had hanged the bag on her shoulders and was adjusting herself on her bike. “I don't remember the number.” The girl said. “No problem. Can I convoy you to your home?” he asked the girl. The girl looked at him wondering if he would do something nasty with her as well. But then all of a sudden the girl smiled and nodded her head upside down. He smiled back. “Where were you headed off alone?” he asked. “I was returning from my coaching, uncle. Today my best friend had a bad throat so I had to be alone.” She replied. She got off the bike and started walking with him, dragging her bike along. “Where is your home, beta?” he asked her. “It's two blocks away from here.” She replied. “Next time don’t go home by this route. It’s deserted here and bad people live here. Always go by the main road where there are good people. Remember it the next time you go to your coaching. Okay?” he said.

“How old are you?” he asked. “I am eleven years old.” She replied, smiling. “Uncle, why did the bad uncle touch me on the wee-wee?” the girl asked him. His heart skipped a beat listening to what the girl finished asking. He felt embarrassed and anger fumed within him at the same time. He wanted to kill that man that very instant. How could a man be so filthy to do something as sinful as that to an eleven year old? - He thought. He could not think of an explanation to the innocent question of the little girl. “The bad uncle wanted to hurt you. He always hurts good children like you. Do tell your momma about what happened today and never ever let anyone touch you on your wee-wee!” he said. “Okay!” she said and they walked further.

He was sitting in the metro and thinking about the girl he had dropped off at her home a few minutes ago. He was furious with the possibility of a man’s thirst for sexual pleasures. He could not envision, even in his worst nightmare what he had seen today. How could anyone even think of doing such a monstrous act with a little girl? - He thought and shuddered. He recalled the girl’s innocent face and felt abysmal about what he saw the man doing with her. It was upsetting. Tears rolled down from his eyes.

It was eleven in the night and he and his wife were about to sleep. He hadn’t talked to her yet thinking about the appalling incident. He turned towards her and kept his hands on her shoulder. She removed his hands. She heard him sobbing and turned towards him. It was dark. She moved her hands all over his face and felt his eyes. They were wet. Forgetting whatever had happened amongst them she worriedly asked him, “What happened baby?” He sobbed again and slid his hands into hers. She held his hands firmly in response. “I am sorry! Sorry about the way I talked to you yesterday. Sorry about the things I said. Sorry about the thoughts my words expressed. I was wrong.” He said. She wiped off his tears and held him closely. “It’s okay.” She said and hugged him tight.


Thursday, July 16, 2015

When the dawn will lose its crimson.

Trust me it’s far more upsetting than it sounds. The dawn grips its reputation and magnificence primarily because of its crimson and if you excise its only wings how would the bird fly? What if the flowers lose their fragrance? What if the sun loses its light? What if a love story loses its love? What if the morning dew loses its purity? What if the seas lose their tides? What if the trees lose their shade? What if the snail loses its pace? What if the Hulk loses its green? What if the Iron Man loses Jarvis? What if NFS loses its cars? What if a computer system loses its processor? What if a mother loses her maternity? What if the soil loses its fertility? What if the summer loses its heat? What if the winter loses its chills? What if the monsoon loses its rain? What if the beautiful loses its beauty? What if I lose you?

Let me take you to the time when species other than humans could talk and had emotions. In a certain kingdom, in a certain land, in the countryside, in a little colony, there lived our hero. He was no different than any other eusocial insect belonging to the Formicidae family and yet he was not similar to any one of them. Unlike the other male ants of the colony he did not prepare his body just to hook up and pollinate a female ant and then pass away. He believed that a male ant’s life wasn't predestined but it was in fact what they chose it to be. When the other male ants chose to breed, he chose not to be farmed in incarceration to serve some explicit purpose. He willingly chose to be a warrior and serve the colony as some of the female ants did.

Seeing him take interest in the happenings of the colony for a noticeably long extent, the queen had established a soft corner for him recently and had decided to promote him from being a soldier to a troop leader. He was perhaps the first male ant in the times gone by, who had stepped forward and made a choice of not following nature’s traditional convention. His story was inspiring to other folks of his species and had voyaged across the country through different colonies. Since the last few weeks he was serving the colony in the best way imaginable. But alongside this inspiring story of his, there was another story that was being woven in the past few days. A story of love.

After having joined the army as a soldier, he had fallen in love with a fellow soldier of his. She was eventually the most beautiful ant he had ever come across. He had instantaneously fallen in love with her right after looking at her for the very first time. It was exactly what we call love at first sight in our world. He had conveyed his feelings to her very divinely and she, after making him wait for a considerably long duration had been engaged with him. They were the first couple in the family of ants who were together not just to make love and then separate but were together for an entirely new feeling. The feeling of love. It had never been since the establishment of the very first colony that two ants of the opposite sexual category were together because they were in love with each other. For a change, this was beautiful.

They were together because they desired to be. There had been talks and there had been walks. There had been cuddling and there had been fondling. There had been fights which were resolved at some point. There had been daybreaks and there had been nightfall, which were all beautiful. There had been lunches and there had been dinners. They spent their days working hard for the colony and they devoted their evenings to each other. Their story was no less than a fairy tale and was celebrated amongst most of the colonies across the country. Love was in the air. Other male ants were motivated to look beyond their bound lives and identify female ants as someone more than their sex mates. Everything was happening impeccably until one day.

It had been precisely two months since they were a pair. It was their eighth anniversary and he was truly pleased that they were together for so long. Yes, I know you must be wondering how they could celebrate eight anniversaries in just two months. Let me answer you. First of all this is my story and so I can make them celebrate any number of anniversaries I want. And secondly, as ants have an average lifespan of two to six months, he had decided to celebrate his anniversary every week.
The dawn had just cracked and the blackness had started to fade away. He could not sleep much the last night thinking of the recent alterations in her conduct. She was not as warm as she used to be in the initial days of their relationship. In fact she had become somewhat impolite. She did not talk much to him and if she did, the conversation would somehow be led to a dispute further being led to a fight. And moreover, lately their relationship had lost the element of romance that it used to have previously. He could feel this. He was unable to comprehend the reason behind this turn of events but deep down he knew it that she loved her. He could always see that in her eyes.

Nevertheless apart from all these, he craved to celebrate the day with her. After all he was the first ant to complete two months of being in a relationship that involved love. He peeped out of his slumbering shack. There was no one in the dormitory. “Everyone must be asleep.” He said to himself. He strode out into the dorm and advanced towards the gigantic common area. The labour ants were all asleep along the floor of the common area. He had to land his steps cautiously on the ground without tripping over anyone. With utmost care he paced onward and was nearly halfway across the hall. “Hey! Why are you up so early buddy?” asked a labour. He looked around to trace the cradle of the voice and spotted the only labour whose head was up. “Why are you awake so early buddy?” he fired back the same question in a controlling attitude. After having realised that she was talking to no companion labour ant but a soldier, the labour ant promptly shut her eyes and said, “I have got a nightmare to finish, sir. See you later.” He smirked. Being a soldier wasn’t that bad after all. If he had to lookout for the colony all day putting his life on stake for other ants then in return he would get some respect. At least from the labour ants.

He was standing on the bank of the love pond. That’s what she used to call it. It was two ant-miles due west from the colony. Every week on the day of their anniversary in morning hours before going off to duty, both of them would meet up near this pond and wish each other. This was not some kind of regulation that either of them had defined but it had developed on its own. There are numerous habits that ripen in a relationship which are not anticipated but they make the relationship beautiful.
A bead of dew fell into the pond crafting ripples which demolished the reflection of his face for a few instants. He was looking into the water. He would do this every time and she would sneak in from behind him and he would see her face’s reflection next to his in the pond. He would smile. She would smile back. They would look at each other and in no time his lips would be on hers. And then after the kiss they both would wish each other. He treasured whatever they had because to him these were the most beautiful sentiments he could ever imagine of.

The sunlight fell upon the meadow spread alongside the pond’s bank and the drops of dew on the blade of grass shone like tiny cherries. The water of the pond ensured a shade of crimson due to the deep red light which looked blissful. The crickets were producing high-pitched sounds. Birds were chirping all over the place. A yellow canary was sitting on the branch of the tree directly above his head. The fusion of the red light of the dawn with the golden feathers on the canary’s body had turned the picture into something enchanting. He smiled, looking at all the gorgeous things around him expecting the upcoming hours to be beautiful in a similar fashion. Meanwhile a massive frog was sitting on a lotus leaf floating in the middle of the pond, singing something non-understandable in the eeriest manner imaginable. There was something devious about this particular frog. Although he was singing continuously but his gaze kept spinning in all probable directions as if looking for something. He was possibly out here for his morning breakfast waiting for a fly or an ant. “What! How did I not think of this? He could be here to eat me up.” thought our hero. Though he was reasonably far from the frog but he was still bothered about the tongue. This frog had never sat anywhere near this place in the past two months. It was the first week of July and the monsoon has just hit the seasonal calendar so it must be the rains that had brought the frog back from hibernation. He merely wished that the frog didn’t spot him midst the lush towering green grass where he was waiting for her. He turned out to be lucky enough.

Two hours had passed away and he was incessantly awaiting her at the very place but there was no sign of her presence yet. His smile was slowly being transformed to a frown and the enthusiasm of the day was turning into tension. He looked around. The sun had escalated further up and the redness had vanished letting a bright golden shade spread into the sky. The dawn had lost its crimson. The dew drops were all vaporised and the chirping of birds had stopped. The temperature had begun to rise. The element of romance was diminishing as the clock ticked. But what concerned him the most was that she was still not there with him because she had never been late on any of their past anniversaries. She hadn’t wished him yet.

Time dragged itself with a snail’s pace. Each passing moment felt to him like an eternity. He decided to head back to the colony assuming she must have been in some kind of problem. All along the way his head was dropped down and his gaze scanned the path he was walking onto. He was unhappy. He walked past the colony’s front gate and proceeded towards the assembly area. There were hundreds of soldier ants grouped together awaiting their troop leaders. He marched up to his troop and stood at the end of the already formed line. The line which was formed had to be perfectly straight such that when looked from the front side of the line only the head of the first ant could be seen. This was a rule which was to be followed very strictly and fell underneath the disciplinary standards of the ant army. He looked to his right to spot her in her troop. There she was, at the fourth position from the front. She was looking straight ahead. He didn’t quite understand this course of conduct of hers. First she didn’t show up near the love pond and now she wasn’t even looking this side knowing that his troop would always be on her left. There was something not on track.

There was still pretty much time left for the troop leaders to arrive. He disengaged himself from the end of the line and walked towards her. His heart was beating like a drum set on an orchestra as he neared her. He was afraid of what she would give as a reason for what was happening since morning. After having approached her he spoke, “Hi!” “Hey! Good Morning fellow soldier. How are you doing?” she greeted him with a friendly tone. But there was something about her gaze. He noticed that she did not look into his eyes while greeting him. Nevertheless she was smiling and looking at him. He smiled back at her and said “Good Morning baby! I am doing pretty well. The morning…” He paused, still looking at her. She hadn’t wished him yet. A series of thoughts were being fed to him. Why wasn’t she wishing him? Did she forget? But she had never forgotten their anniversary. It wasn’t something to simply forget. She wouldn’t ever forget their anniversary. But then why did not she show up near the pond? What if she is doing it on purpose because she had planned a surprise for him? It could be this.

But he could not contain his urge to ask her. He spoke up, “Baby, aren’t you forgetting something?” She was still looking at him but did not look him in the eyes. “Forgetting what?” she put up a question in response to his rhetorical question. “We were supposed to meet up at the love pond in the morning. You didn’t come.” He said. “Oh my goodness!” she exclaimed. “Yes, I am sorry I forgot.” She continued. “You forgot?” he repeated what she said in an appalling tone. He was taken aback and could not think of anything to speak up. He remained silent. She was silent too and didn’t speak up either. He looked at her. She was looking straight ahead. The gawkiness of the moment was beyond the confines of his understanding. “Happy eighth anniversary!” he said in a delightful way, controlling his exasperation. “Oh yes, same to you.” She replied. This time she looked into his eyes. He felt good. There was something special about her eyes. Whenever she would look into our hero’s eyes he would instantly fall in love with her at the very moment, over and over again. He felt complete from the inside.

“I have something else that I want you to know.” She paused for an instant. For this single moment his heart pumped way more than the usual. His antennas stood up straight.  “I can’t do it anymore. I am a soldier and I am not supposed to fall in love with a male ant or for that matter just even mate with him. I am neither the queen of this colony nor is this a gamergate colony. Moreover even if I am supposed to fall in love I have realised that this is not what I always desired. I mean you are not the one. It’s harsh but sadly it’s the truth. I don’t love you. I wanted to tell this to you long ago but I could not.” She said. His eyes were fixed on hers and he did not move at all. He could feel his body turning cold and a certain eeriness trekked down his spine. He did not like the emotion of the moment. His feelings were mixed. He felt petrified, wretched, unaccompanied, an ache in his heart was born and he wanted to cry. But he did not. “What do you want, a break-up?” he asked her. There was a pause and it was the longest pause he had ever confronted in his entire lifespan. It was scaring him. Every fragment of his heart was screaming and telling him that she would refuse and call out the prank she was playing on him. “Yes I want a break-up!” she said it coldly. “All soldiers in the line! March now, one-two, one-two…” a sharp but loud voice filled the entire assembly area. It was the leader of her troop commanding them to march towards the fields. She along with her troop marched away. He stood there, traumatised.

It had been two days since she had broken up with him and she did not try to contact him. He did not try to contact her too but he craved to. Maybe she too wanted to. It was a pleasant morning and he was sitting near the pond staring into the motionless water. After what had happened he botched to do any serviceable task and would just sit idle, quietly. The sky was red and the birds were chirping. The crickets were singing and the dew drops were shining. But none of these things could fascinate him like the way they used to earlier. Gloom was upon him. He hadn’t cracked a smile since then and had felt sad all the time. He was in love with her way too much to let her go. Why would she break-up with him? Many thoughts like these would keep troubling him all the time. He was facing a terrible time and deep inside he knew that she was facing a terrible time as well but this was just what he felt at heart, not the reality. He believed that something terrible might have come across her and due to that she had to end what they had. Although her words were unpleasant and impolite while she broke-up but her eyes told an utterly different story. He had seen a shade of sadness in her eyes which very well defined the pain she was going to abduct after that.

“Thud-thud, thud-thud, thud-thud…” a steady and unified sound of feet-stomping filled the noiseless surroundings of the pond. It was a troop heading towards the west of the colony. The western fields was the area from where the odds of foreign attacks were minimum and so only one troop from the army was sent there every day. The grasshoppers preferred to attack from the north-eastern side of the colony because the granary was in the North wing. A major part of the ant army was deployed in that region to protect the granary. He ignored the disturbance and continued to gaze into the water. He looked at his face which had lost its magnetism in the last two days. He tried to smile. Physically he was smiling but emotionally he was not. A drop of dew fell from a grass blade next to him into the pond disturbing the stillness of the water. A series of concentric circles was bred and when the water was still once again he could see two faces in the water. It was her.

He turned around in excitement and found her standing before him. The source of the marching sound a few moments ago was from her troop. He realised that her troop had marched away and it was just him and her on the bank of the love pond. He looked at her. She was beautiful. Her smell was intoxicating every bit of the moment. If he could describe her in a single word, he would call her his life. His heart began a journey, the moment he looked into her eyes and the very next moment she took his breath away. He was happy to see her. He smiled.

“See I am not here to re-build whatever we had demolished two days ago. But on the other hand I don’t want to lose you entirely. I want us to be friends. I have heard about many couples of other species who turn out to be great friends after they break-up and…” He spoke up without letting her finish, “I don’t want to be great. I was happy with the way things were between us earlier.” His smile faded away. “Why don’t you understand that I don’t feel like the way you feel for me?” she put up a question, rhetorically. “Well we should not talk or meet up ever then.” He replied. “Okay fine. Whatever suits you then.” She fired back. She was firm. She marched towards west where her entire troop was headed. He looked at her walking away.

Before she could fade out of his vision completely he shouted out to her and asked her to wait. She stopped. He came up to her. “Will you do me a favour?” he asked sustaining the dignity of the love he had for her in his heart. “Yes, say.” She replied. He gulped. He looked at her. Her expressions were plain and did not deliver anything. He tried to gather every drop of courage left in his body to say this. “I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that you do not love me. I promise I will walk away at that instant without bothering you on this again.” He said. She looked him in his eyes and her lips moved to say, “I don’t love you.” He face turned pale. “Okay. Do not stop me, now that you don’t love me.” He said.

He turned away from her and started walking. Tears rolled down his face making their way down to the ground. He felt a clog in the centre of his chest. He wanted to cry. He stared at the grass beneath him and kept walking. His heart was shattered to pieces but he still loved her with all those pieces. He was hurt for he will not have her by his side ever but she was the pain that he won’t ever give up. Thousands of memories were being played in his head thinking about all they had gone through. After all it is really hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember. He was missing her already. He was silent yet he was crying. The dawn was losing its crimson once again.

He felt something soft in his hands. Another hand perhaps. He turned around. It was her, holding his hand into hers. But before he could say something, she spoke up. “Yes I love you. I have loved you always and will keep loving you.” His tears flooded down his cheek and he leaned forward towards her face. He kissed her and she kissed him back. Their antennas curled up. It was the kind of kiss that made them realise that they never had been happier. Deep within they knew that they loved each other with a love that was more than love.

And yes of course, they lived happily ever after.